Have you noticed a repeated pattern among successful people dealing with several issues like low esteem, insecurities, and wonder how they excelled at their careers yet they have bruised egos?
“It is how they were talked to by their early parents/nurturers that led to that” a friend mentioned, and it got me thinking how we can change this narrative, on how we communicate to a developing child.
Language is very important in communication from verbal to nonverbal forms, thorough caution has got to be taken when talking to a child. It is very essential to their relationships and development since it involves listening and talking in ways that make them feel important and valued.
While dealing with children in their delicate adaptive stages, how they choose to communicate to us and the feedback we give them is very key in nurturing their envisioned existences therefore communicating well with them helps them develop skills for communicating with others.
In the event that there’s criticism called for in child upbringing, whether positive or negative, as nurturers, we must be careful with the language because it will determine how they receive that information and how they react.
When is criticism actually a good thing for a child?
It is good when you communicate openly how their actions can cause harm to another person, for example bullying, saying insulting words to friends does hurt their feelings. Tame a child’s conscious on how to feel if a person subjected harm to them.
It’s also crucial to help a child understand his/her true purpose: to learn about her strengths and weaknesses and work to change her shortcomings because this will help her become a successful adult.
When does criticism become unhealthy for a child?
It gets bad when it is in their heads that they are doing everything wrong, a child instead gets timid and refrains from expressing themselves. No one likes to be criticized, but negative feedback can be particularly difficult for 5- and 6-year-olds.
The language used here on even when communicating their bad behavior has to be delicate enough not to bruise their confidence in themselves but at the same time ruling out the indiscipline.
Most importantly after such critics, the pattern of misdoings shouldn’t be carried on their shoulders, that’s to say, reminding them of their troublesome behaviors. Their mistakes do not define their character.
The goal is to ensure a safe space for every child to grow up and confidently have room for expression, stand to be corrected without being judged or dragged in the mud for their wrong doings, handled delicately as evolving children with a language that’s empathetic to accommodate every child with different potential.